Saying Goodbye for Now

When I first found out that Emma had gone to be with Jesus, I was in shock. I kept saying, “No God, please no.” Then I spent all of Tuesday afternoon telling Him how much I didn’t like this decision. I didn’t think it was fair. In the same breath as I said I didn’t like what He was doing, I also told Him I wanted to see how He was going to use this for His glory.

I saw a glimpse of it today at the funeral. Mark and I were blessed with a wonderful friend to watch our children while we attended Emma’s memorial service. We were able to grieve with our friends as well as serve them. My heart broke when I saw a good friend, Emma’s young cousins, crying over the loss of their sweet baby cousin.

Emma’s daddy, Denny spoke and felt it was so important to tell people that he was grieving but he knew that Emma was with Jesus and couldn’t wait to be with her some day.

I was drawn back to when Kennis went to be with Jesus and my heart ached even more. We were not able to attend her funeral because I was so far along in my pregnancy. Today I grieved over my niece’s broken heart for her best friend leaving her for now.

I had sweet thoughts today that not only is Kennis praising God in Heaven, so is sweet baby Emma, and even our sweet second baby that was “miscarried” at 9 weeks (in 2003). They are all whole and well and worshipping the one who created them.

Thank you God, through my tears, for making these sweet beautiful children. I know that you make all things new! I praise you for making Emma and for giving her a new body as she worships You, her Creator. For making Kennis in her “diva” style and giving her a whole body as she sings praise to Your Name. And for our sweet baby that we will only get to hold when we see You again.

1My voice rises to God, and I wil cry aloud;
My voice rises to God, and He will hear me.
2In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord;
In the night my hand was stretched out without weariness;
My soul refused to be comforted.
3When I remember God, then I am disturbed;
When I sigh, then my spirit grows faint. Selah.
4You have held my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5I have considered the days of old,
The years of long ago.
6I will remember my song in the night;
I will meditate with my heart,
And my spirit ponders:
7Will the Lord reject forever?
And will He never be favorable again?
8Has His lovingkindness ceased forever?
Has His promise come to an end forever?
9Has God forgotten to be gracious,
Or has He in anger withdrawn His compassion? Selah.
10Then I said, “It is my grief,
That the right hand of the Most High has changed.”
11I shall remember the deeds of the LORD;
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
12I will meditate on all Your work
And muse on Your deeds.
13Your way, O God, is holy;
What god is great like our God?
14You are the God who works wonders;
You have made known Your strength among the peoples.
15You have by Your power redeemed Your people,
The sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah.
16The waters saw You, O God;
The waters saw You, they were in anguish;
The deeps also trembled.
17The clouds poured out water;
The skies gave forth a sound;
Your arrows flashed here and there.
18The sound of Your thunder was in the whirlwind;
The lightnings lit up the world;
The earth trembled and shook.
19Your way was in the sea
And Your paths in the mighty waters,
And Your footprints may not be known.
20You led Your people like a flock
By the hand of Moses and Aaron.
Psalm 77

How great and mighty is our awesome God!?!

Please continue to pray for Denny and Vickie and all of their family as they grieve this loss. They’ll be getting away this week to draw closer to God and each other, so please pray for this time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *