How about a birth story to celebrate Thanksgiving?
While Tobin’s birth story isn’t full of all of the uncertainty that our other births came with, it was still very special to us. When we found out we would be having another c-section (our hospital does not allow for a vbac after two c-sections), I have to admit that I was more than upset about it. I spent weeks praying and crying and generally frustrated. My c-sections were not horrible by any means. However, not only was I going to have to have another c-section but the hospital where I had delivered eight of our babies had been bought by one of the larger hospitals in our area and was no longer doing labor and delivery. We had no choice in which hospital our insurance would pay to. The hospital we were to go to is large and probably does the most deliveries in our area. I just knew that it was going to be impersonal and sterile and by the book “baby factory.”
In the long run, I had to pray a lot. I knew we were with the doctor we needed to be with. I had to eventually admit that we were at the hospital God wanted us to be at for delivery and that God was fully in control of this delivery. I still prayed that God would allow me to go in to labor and we would “sneak” in to the hospital without having to have a c-section (with my history a home birth would not be safe for me).
So, about a month out, we negotiated Tobin’s birth date. Dr. J was willing to let me go to the week of my due date since I usually don’t go in to labor until after 40 weeks. I worked hard to get a delivery date after the due date…because, ya’ll don’t laugh…my besties birthday was that week and we agreed to have our babies on each others birthday (as luck would have it, she didn’t deliver her baby on my birthday either). He wasn’t convinced and was quite surprised that I wanted to actually go past my due date. So,we set Tobin’s birthday for October 16th.
For us, we prefer our new babies stay with us at all times. That means we don’t use the nursery for anything more than what is absolutely necessary for medical issues. We are 100% behind family-centered childbirth and after-care. From watching friends births, we had not seen this particular hospital be anything but that.
We arrived at the hospital bright and early and ready to meet our Tobin and praying for a beautiful positive experience. Getting prepped for surgery, I was asked if I would be breastfeeding. I responded, that I would be breastfeeding exclusively. The nurse asked if we wanted “no separation.” While I had no clue what that was, it sounded exactly what I wanted and she quickly made note of it. Another nurse came in and told Mark that he would stay with Tobin the entire time and if they needed to go to PACU, he would not leave him. She was adamant about that. I felt like God was giving us a reassurance that we wouldn’t miss a minute of bonding with our little one. I made sure to tell them that I wanted to see him as soon as I could and I wanted to do skin to skin as soon as possible. Each time I mentioned it, their response was, “Absolutely!” They were also very accommodating to my wish for very little narcotics (they make me feel absolutely horrible and I usually go to sleep with them…or throw up.).
After they got me prepped for surgery, Mark came in and sat with me. When Dr. J was close to delivering Tobin, he told Mark to stand up to see his son be born. Mark was thrilled to be able to watch! As soon as Tobin was delivered, the nurse brought him over for me to not only see but to touch and love on. They kept my arms free to move so I could love on him (previous c-sections I had them strapped down and had to ask for them to be freed to reach him). They took Tobin over to the incubator to do his vitals and make sure he didn’t need any suctioning and then brought him back over to me. The nurse held him close so I could give him kisses and love and then nicely told me they needed to make sure his grunting was nothing more than that (it was fine..this kid sounds like a pterodactyl all the time!).
8 lbs 12 oz
21 inches long
Getting some good Tobin love!
After surgery, they wheeled me to recovery with Tobin and immediately got to hold him for skin to skin. Ya’ll, if you have a baby, skin to skin is the biggest way to bond with baby and has been such a blessing to do with Emmie and now with Tobin (my only ones to do this with). Tobin was placed on my chest but when he was placed, he did something I’ve never been able to experience. He did the breast crawl to nurse! It was such a beautiful and pretty neat experience!
We continued to have a great hospital stay as Tobin went to the nursery for probably about 30 minutes total (during our entire stay) for weight checks and a blood draw. They were good with us bathing Tobin as needed or when we felt he needed it and even encourage babies to not be bathed for the first six hours to help keep their body temp up.
Recovery was great. I didn’t really need any narcotic pain meds excpet for Toradol (which should really be oral instead of just through iv. That pain med is wonderful). I advise anyone who goes through a c-section to plan to be in bed for a week doing absolutely nothing but bathing, bathrooming, and feeding and loving on baby. After a week and with a little bit of compression on my abdomen, I was able to get up and move relatively well.
Tobin means “God is Good” and Asher means “blessing.” Our Tobin comes after a crazy three years of medical issues with Emmie and an adoption as well as two miscarriages. One of which was our sweet twins. Through all of the trials, the joys and the struggles…we have sought to praise God because He has been so good to us and for us. Tobin is truly a blessing to our family and there is not a day that goes by that we don’t thank God for allowing us to be his parents.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.James 1: 17-18