I have discovered that we have one of “those” kids. You know, the ones that throw toys, objects, etc when they don’t get their way. He also hits. If you must need me to tell (like most of you can’t guess), it’s Liam. It’s mostly at tantrum stage that he starts this, so I really am at a lost what to do. He’s already broken a glass and toys because of this behavior. I asked the experts (okay, one, my mom) and they (she) didn’t have a clue what to do.
So, last night, we flipped through Creative Correction by Lisa Welchel to see how to thwart the behavior. One of her suggestions was to send him outside until he can change his attitude. This being done with the purpose of removing them from where they are getting attention (if I walk away from Liam he follows and continues).
I can’t really send Liam outside because he’ll play. I don’t like for them to go outside without me anyway. So, our solution is this (please don’t think me cruel). We set up the playpen in our closet and yes, it’s that big. When he starts a major tantrum, I send him there for a couple of minutes and then talk to him. So far, it’s working! I do give him a warning. I do not close the door or leave the light off. He’s just removed from the rest of the household and in a safe place.
Next up, Zoe and Ace have been using ugly words to each other. I’ve thought of this before but forgot about it until last night. So, when they use ugly words to each other they have to literally hold their tongue. “Keep your tongue from evil…” Psalm 34:13
And finally, Ace has been having a real hard time with his attitude and chores. I read in Creative Correction about adding chores to his list every time he pitches a fit about doing his jobs. These are extra jobs on top of his regular jobs. Needless to say, I have some clean windows and the living room is dusted! Mark’s getting help with the trash and Zoe got to skip carrying her clothes down for laundry day! I’m going to have some shiny windows out of all this since he can’t really do or reach a lot for his chores.
Just thought I’d share some new discipline strategies…life’s been a little bit easier around here today 🙂
The other night, we were having dinner and Ace was in one of “those” moods. He demanded more ketchup and when no one answered, he decided to ask for ketchup. However, he still had plenty of ketchup on his plate. He had taken a fry moved the ketchup around and then asked for more. Mark told him that he couldn’t have more but when he ran out of ketchup he would get more. Ace felt perfectly sure that he deserved more ketchup because he had smeared what he had around on the plate so that it didn’t look like so much. He pitched a fit. He left the table. He cooled off. And while he was cooling off I looked at Mark and said, “How often do we do that?”
How often do we take what God has given us and spread it out and then demanded more? See, I only have a three bedroom house…if I cram more “stuff” in to it, there’s not enough room for anything else…I WANT MORE GOD!
I guess we live in a day where we think we deserve more. However, what God has given us is enough! I’m learning, since the “ketchup” incidence to be content with what I have today. My babies, my house, my busyness, my wonderful husband. Content because they were all given to me by God. He knows better what I need and what I can handle. He only gives me what I need and what I can handle. So, I’ll be content in him.
Zoe has now dropped the “God our Father” prayer that she learned in church. Personally, I don’t like it much because it’s so generic. We allow them to sing it during meal times and then one of us prays over the meal, etc. But, now, Zoe is actually praying at meal times about anything and everything. So, I have Ace and Zoe rotating prayers so he can still sing his.
That being said, her prayers also are full of lots of substance now too and they are so sweet to listen to.
Last week, Ace got a big splinter stuck in his food and it was stuck down deep. It hurt for him to walk, so we were forced to work on it to get it out for him. He was pinned face down on the floor while I sandwiched his leg between my legs and working on the splinter. In the meantime, Mark put the other three in the bath and got everyone ready for bed. It took about 45 minutes but we go it out…after lots of screaming, tears and sweat. Zoe came in after it was all done and quietly told Ace that she was praying that the splinter would come out quickly for him. Why didn’t I think of that???
I think sometimes I just jump into something without taking the time to pray and talk to God. Mark and I have slowed down a lot over the past week (mostly because I had no choice) and have been able to not just pray but talk to God a lot and about everything…like we tell the kids.
So, my advice this week…before all else fails, talk to God! He’s there, He’s listening, and He’s in control anyway!
I just have to give up props for PBS this year. They are really pushing reading with the kids shows. They’ve come out with two one called Word World and the other is Super Why! One guess as to which one my kids are enjoying. Super Why has reading “super readers” that go through books to help solve problems. They interact with the characters in the book and help them with their problems. Then they find super letters to put in the super computer and solve the puzzle about whatever they (as kids) are dealing with. It’s super! Really! Now, as a rule, we do not allow a lot of tv…by most standards. They are allowed “wake up” tv time in which they watch Wilbur (another good reading show on TLC). And then at naptime they get 30 minutes to watch Reading Rainbow (ummm, do you see a theme here? My kids like books, what can I say!?!) and then in the afternoon. They are allowed to pick out one short video. But lately, I’ve been taping Super Why because it comes on during naptime. And they’ve been watching that in the afternoons. It’s fun to hear them yell, “Off to the book club!” The stories they use are all fairy tales with happy twists.
Another exciting thumbs up is that PBS is bringing back some of the “old” shows that I used to watch as a kid. Of course there’s Mister Rogers Neighborhood, but there is also Reading Rainbow. And being a reader, I watched that show all the time. In fact, the episode from today, I remember watching as a child.
Just thought I’d spread the word about Super Why for anyone seeing quality tv for a brief time for their children. Oh, and it’s very interactive too. Zoe and Ace are getting in to finding the letters and calling them out. Except Ace says, “A” for everything.
Okay, Zoe and Ace’s fighting has gotten out of hand, so I was reading an article that quoted Ephesians 4:32 in it. I knew this was something I could possibly use to help the kids learn to get along. I brainstormed and came up with the above picture. It’s a bee hive. Zoe and Ace each have five bees (Zoe’s bees have bows and Ace’s bees have hats) to start the day. If they fight with each other or Liam, then they have to give me a bee. If they have all five bees at the end of the day, they earn a bee buck. Five bee bucks equals a trip to the Dollar Store. No bee bucks equals a privilege taken away for not getting along with your brother or sister or both.
We are trying this and hopefully, it will keep me more diligent on catching the good sibling behavior and the bad sibling behavior.
Today is day one. They are excited about it but have both lost one bee as they were arguing while washing dishes.
I’ll keep everyone posted on how it works!!
My mom sent us a package in the mail yesterday. In the package was a book entitled, Mom! The Toilet’s Clogged, Kid Disasters and How to Fix Them. Do ya think it’ll come in handy in my household?
I’m looking forward to snuggling up with some nice tea and reading it! I’m guessing she was thinking about Liam when she got it for me. Thanks mom!
“The experts” all say that to encourage your children to read, they should see you reading. However, “the experts” don’t tell you that when you are trying to read, the children will clamour all around you with questions and comments about anything and everything. I pointed this out to Mark as I attempted to read a little in a Mitford book (which I have been trying to read for a month now and I’m now on chapter two!). As soon as they heard the gentle whirrrrr of the pages, they were on me like mosquitoes in the south!
Zoe smiled at me and asked, “Mom why do you read that book without talking.” Aha! There it is. Now, I know the reason they swarm when I open a book…they don’t realize I’m reading and they want me to read whatever it is out-loud to them!
Okay, “experts” you need to give a little more information when doling out advice!
You know you’re getting big when you can’t just sit down on the floor anymore…you have to literally fall down to get there! At least I can still get up.
They only work if you turn them on AND plug them in…I can’t count how many times we desparately needed a crockpot meal and it sat in the crockpot all day without being plugged in or plugged in and not turned on or not plugged in but turned on. I think I’ve got it right today though (at least I hope so or it’s McDonald’s tonight).