I need a psychiatrist

At least that was what a total stranger told me in the check out line at the grocery store yesterday.

I ran to the grocery store while Zoe was in speech yesterday. A really quick trip since speech lasts 30 minutes. As I’m paying for what I needed, a man behind me noticed Ace and Liam (both acting wonderful…no fits at the time…which is how they usually act when we’re out). He said, “You’ve got your hands full.”

I was shocked by the statement, because two doesn’t seem like a lot when you have three. I turned around, then his eyes got big when he saw my belly. “…and another one on the way! Wow! You need a psychiatrist.”

What!?! I was so shocked then by such a rude comment. I didn’t quite know how to respond. I just smiled and told him that I actually had a 4 year old too. He stated, “They must drive you nuts.”

Now, I’m mad because I hate comments like that around my children. Especially a 2 year old who will repeat all that is said.

I really could barely get a word in edgewise he was so taken aback and continued to expound on how I didn’t get any “me” time (Babylonian mentality…”I am and there is none besides me.”). I tossled Liam’s hair and said they were blessings as I usually say when people start making comments about my children.

I thought the “me” time was funny. I wondered how much “me” time he actually got. As I was leaving, I started calculating in my head how much “me” time I got. I made sure to tell him I got naps and after they went to bed (which totals about 4 hours a day). He laughed made it out like that wasn’t a lot. Plus, ladies Bible study on Tuesday nights…that’s another 2 hours a week. Mark gives the kids baths (something we’ve done from the very beginning), that’s anywhere from 30 minutes to another hour. And this weekend, I’m going on a Birthday scrapbooking trip with 3 friends…that’s well over 48 hours. And then count in anytime I look at Mark after having one of “those” days and I get to leave the house or take a bath or hide in our bedroom for as long as I need. I’m wondering if maybe I get more “me” time than he realizes. And anyway, it’s not about “me” at all. God has blessed us with this ministry of raising children to learn to love Him. My job is to teach them about Him and to lead them to know Him. What did he do all day???

At church and in MOPS ministry, I’m surrounded by various families. They range from one child a family to 11! This was my first rude comment (aside from the jeers of, “Don’t you know what causes that?!” Wow! Now that’s original!)…about, what I consider to be, a medium sized family. I am going to start praying now that God will equip me to have “godly” comebacks to the comments about our sweet family He’s blessed us with. I know I had an opportunity to share with this man how God had blessed our family…how this was part of our calling…how my God time and ministry time to my children was more important than my “me” time. But, I was just not prepared for the comments that were made. Usually, the most I’ve gotten is “Your hands are full.”

Oh well! Praying for more preparedness for next time…and I’m sure there will be a next time. I know the kids are watching my reaction to those comments to shape and frame how they feel about our family.

Oh, and as I was leaving he said, “God bless you.” Well, He already has!!!

5 thoughts on “I need a psychiatrist

  1. Wow, that is incredibly rude, I can hardly believe someone said that to you! I’m speechless, as I would’ve been if he had said that to me. And yes, you should be arming yourself now for some good replies to rude statements from strangers! Not that you have to justify your life to anyone, but people LOVE to comment about kids, don’t they?! I think you handled it great!

  2. You do not need to justify your life and your choices to anyone. If anyone says, “Wow. They must drive you nuts!” Just simply say, “Nope. Not at all.” And end it. And his comment about “me time” doesn’t even deserve a reply. If you wanted to give one, you could simply say, “I get plenty. Thanks for your concern.” And that’s it. He doesn’t deserve an explanation and quite frankly, any explanation you give him [or anyone else] will go in one ear and out the other. You do not need to justify yourself, your choices, your family to anyone.

  3. Amen to all you said! Next time tell you need to tell the person your praying for 20 more! Aren’t you? ;o) May God bless you indeed!

    Ben & Betsy

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