Disclaimer: I realize that most of my friends who read this blog go to church with me. I’m not trying to step on toes or disrupt “how we’ve always done things.” We’re just trying to state how we do things and deal with them. So if you don’t want to hear it…just skip over this post…or think, maybe God wants to share something with you, or maybe you can share something about how God works in your family.
Back when Zoe was oh, about the size of Ceili Rain or younger, Mark and I started talking about what we wanted for our children. We both came to the conclusion that we did not want to judge their “success” by American standards…but by God’s standard, and God’s alone. Believe me, as they’ve gotten older, that’s been harder and harder to do. We are constantly working to keep ourselves in check.
So, we agreed we didn’t want to see our kid’s rising on the corporate ladder or finishing medical school just so they could send us to the “good” nursing home. In fact, I’ve always told Mark I would much rather brag to people that our children are serving Christ in an inner city ministry or in a hut in Africa than to say they are trying to attain the monetary riches of this world.
We started examining how we would go about assuring that they were seeking God and not the earthly things.
Our first look at this was at the church. We came realize that the church was a tool to use in this parenting journey and not the sole provider of faith and Christianity for our kids.
We found a book called Parenting in the Pew by Robbie Castleman and thus began our entrance into “Big Church” with our kids. Zoe, being first born, was rather mature for her age and so we began bringing her to church at 2 years of age. Castleman talks about starting to bring them in full time at age four, but we felt that we could handle/work with our kids at age 2 to learn to sit and listen. As such, when each of our kids has turned two we welcome them to “Big Church.”
Now, our church is fairly big, with a fairly big children’s church. So, we could have tucked our kids in the children’s church and allowed them to play and learn back there. We really felt God calling us to teach them how to truly worship God in a corporate setting.
Bauchum says in his book, Family Driven Faith: “I believe one of the greatest crutches in the church is the nursery…The father who should be up in arms by the time he gets home from church because of the embarrassment to which his child subjected him ends up going home with a clear conscience while the nursery worker takes a handful of aspirin.”
Basically, what it boils down to for us is this: Are we willing to sacrifice an hour and half in public to teach our children what true corporate worship is? Or are we going to take the “easy road?”
It can be extremely hard at times. But then there are the great rewards. Liam sat through worship a couple of weeks ago and did not have to go out to be disciplined! That was a little miracle. It also requires sacrifices on our part. I would love to sing in the choir or participate in other ways, but God has called me to be a mother first, and a “church member” second. So for now, sitting in the pew with my kids is where God has called me…not on the stage or behind the scenes.
However, just dragging your kids into church is not all. We are teaching our kids to listen to the sermon (take notes if they can read and write) and we even discuss the points at home. That means they sit with us, not with friends. They do not have a myriad of activities in the pew. We do allow the younger ones a Bible and sheet of paper and pencil (although a lot of times those have to be taken away).
Okay, so worship in a corporate setting is the parents’ responsibility. At least that’s what we believe. “But,” you say, “my kid is not like yours. They could never sit through a service.” To which I say, “Have you met my sweet adventurous son, Liam?”
I’ve also heard the excuse that this is “my time.” Or “my adult time to worship God.” Hmmm, an hour and a half a week to worship Christ. Ephesians 5:18-20 tells us that we should be worshiping always…not just once a week.
Seriously, though, there are things that can be done at home to teach your child to sit through a 20 to 30 minute (and if you have a pastor like ours…sometimes 45 minutes…but that’s stretching it for a 2 year old and we know this and will heed to their needs) sermon. Next up: Worship…it’s not just for church
(Disclaimer #2: I [Mark] have read and approve of the content of this post)
When Zoe, Ace, and Liam were little, there was a bath seat we were able to purchase so they could actually take a bath and not be stuck in a plastic tub or (in Ace and Liam’s case, the sink). After Liam, as can be imagined, it was covered in much grime and mildew. Our best efforts could not get it clean. And, when I went searching for one for Josiah, all I found was a bulky one that had some kind of arm rest on it. Not something I needed for our growing family. So, for Josiah, we settled for a bath pillow that worked great. But now, the baby superstore near us doesn’t carry that pillow.
We waited until Ceili Rain could sit up okay (she still can’t do it unassisted but she’s got some skills). I purchased it a couple of weeks ago and here’s little miss thought of it (oh, I put the tub sponge in the seat for a little bit more stability on her part).
Realxin’ in the tub…
Having a little snack on the washcloth.
It helps that sister likes to climb in with her too. So she has instant entertainment (and we’re not using too much water on one child).
